Make Like a Pilgrim

As a first grader, I had the privilege of dressing up like a pilgrim for the annual Thanksgiving Feast at my elementary school. Like all public school Thanksgiving celebrations in Huntington, IN, all blonde-haired children dressed in paper pilgrim costumes while brunette children embellished the paper bands placed around their heads with feathers (the concept of ethnocentrism was virtually unknown in our small town).

There we sat, alternating pilgrim, Indian, pilgrim, Indian at the lunch tables lining the walls of the gymnasium, feasting upon cooked deli meat and marveling at the teacher-established segregation.
Our lunchtime assignment was to tell our Indian neighbors something that we were thankful for. Thus started an annual tradition where I insist upon unloading my graciousness for all fine things in life upon a somewhat-willing audience. This year, I am thankful to have discovered the blogosphere and thankful that I have a place to post my Thanksgiving tributes.

So, without further ado (and in no particular order), I present the things that have made my 2008 a year to be thankful:

• My college degree from a reputable institution. Had my parents not seduced me off the couch with promises of taping Dawson's Creek and the gleaming prospect of dormitory living, I would still be trying to convince myself and others I am simply attending a branch campus of the University of Arizona.
• The H and C clans (names deleted to protect the innocent). My family, both immediate and extended… One evening with us and you will find out that sarcasm is born, not made.
• My car, for starting this morning. The simple anemic roar of the Hyundai’s engine fills me with elation when I realize that my car has chosen to live for one more day.
• Mineral makeup. Now my oily face can have a happy Thanksgiving too.
• My friend Melanie, for introducing me to this website. I now live in a world where I can safely fall asleep, knowing that at least one man is entertained by cat ladies.
• Tina Fey, Ellen DeGeneres, Jen Lancaster, Sophie Kinsella and all other women who amuse, entertain and inspire me. Cheers to you for making us funny girls fabulous and desirable!
• Stuff White People Like. #104: Girls with Bangs. Finally, we get some respect.
• Coke Zero. The zero-calorie soft drink option was invented in the nick of time, saving me from having to purchase new pants or doing the unthinkable – turning to Diet Coke.
• Sweater dresses and skinny jeans. Here’s hoping that my two fashion staples are still in style next Thanksgiving.
• My friends, fans and people I have never met who read this blog. Share the snarky love with your friends! I am actively looking to recruit new readers.
• What Not to Wear. Without Stacy London and Clinton Kelly I would not know how to accessorize or properly coordinate pinstripes with plaids. Thanks WNTW crew.
• The Thesaurus. I know no greater literary device than the thesaurus. Synonyms flourish and antonyms abound.