Wiki-Chic

I love Wikipedia as much as I love Target, Christmas, and drinking wine alone (which is a LOT). Many years of devotion to Google led to the eventual discovery that Google contributes to an uncomfortable number of self-proclaimed Google stalkers (“OMG, I googled my high school boyfriend and found out that he is divorced AND also gained 180 lbs – ha! That’s what he gets for making fun of my braces at Winter Formal!”). Unwilling to publicly associate myself with such unfortunate Internet users, I turned to Wikipedia as my primary tool for lazy searching.

Now before you go kicking my Google-supported blog off the e-Blogger servers, I want to clarify that I remain a staunch advocate for Google. In the email, blogging and calendar realms, I’ve found nothing better. On top of the splendid email and organizational offerings, there is a plethora of other surprises waiting for me to discover (Google documents, what’s that?). So pipe down, Google nerds! In my book, it’s okay to cheat on you (as long as I’m cheating with a comprehensive - albeit publicly edited - data base).

(Catches breath) Where was I? Oh right, Wikipedia.

What I learned about Wikipedia, ironically came from Wikipedia itself. From Wikipedia’s own entry, I spent hours upon fascinated hours of clicking and reading, eventually ending up at a hypothesis for the collapse of the Bronze Age.

The online safari of searching is just the beginning. Offshoots of the Wiki variety have cropped up on the Wikipedia main page, providing gentrified web-surfers with more activities to fill idle hours. As with Google, I’ve managed to explore some Wiki functions more than others and have a few indispensable favorites.

Wiktionary:
An acquaintance of mine tends to use the word touché to an excessive degree. After enduring another conversation where he repeated the French noun in rapid succession after each of my veiled insults, I realized that he may not know that he was inadvertently ceding to my snide remarks. Wiktionary confirmed that the noun touché is borrowed from the sport of fencing where it is/was used to acknowledge a hit.

Next time he gives me a touché (or 11 repetitive touchés), I have a fencing-related comeback ready. I also plan to ridicule his recent infatuation with mock turtlenecks. Moral of the story: a snarky girl will never hesitate to tear you down, especially when you are trying to depict a superior intellect.

WikiQuote:
Question: what do I hate almost as much as I hate grimy New York City streets, Scooby Doo and people who don’t understand sarcasm?

Answer: misattributed quotations.

Early on, I had to forgive WikiQuote in order to get to this point in our relationship. There is a section labeled ‘Quote of the Day’. This is grammatically incorrect and should be ‘Quotation of the Day’. Quote is a verb, Quotation is a noun. Okay, I’m past it, I promise. Reconciliatory hugs for WikiQuote.

All grammar mistakes aside, WikiQuote is yet another spinning vortex that has stolen many an hour from my busy day. Where else could I turn when a thought like which Shakespeare play used the line “Something wicked this way comes” strikes me? Within a matter of 30 seconds, 5 clicks, and a quick search, I have my answer (Macbeth, Act IV, Scene 1). Thanks to the same mysterious clicking power as Wikipedia, I am not only versed in the famous iambic pentameter but also Middle Eastern proverbs and last week’s episode of Gossip Girl. What a useful and intelligence-boosting tool!

WikiHow:
My name is Rebecca, and I am a procrastinator.

I turn to you, WikiHow, to be my friend and help me through this difficult time.

Wiki universe opens up to show a path: How to Overcome Procrastination using Self Talk (angelic music plays, light shines)

Twenty minutes later, I am learning about how to deal with male PMS and am no closer to getting back to the work I put off to begin with.

Sigh (but a happy sigh, brought on only by a Wiki-euphoria).